Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

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Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Skye//Cashi on Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:55 am

Heartbeat is a story I wrote, its pretty sad though, just a warning... o.o

Heartbeat
I was 5 years old at time. I was in my room watching TV when something led me to feeling where my heart was, I was mystified by the beat and since I didn’t know what it was, being 5 and all, I ran screaming to my dad. My mother had died when I was born, but I didn’t know it then. I ran up to him and he picked me up with his big arms, “Daddy! Daddy! My chest is making a funny noise and it feels weird!” Then he said “Well that’s your heartbeat sweetie, it’s when you heart is beating to keep you alive, as long as you have a heartbeat you’ll be alive hun.” “Ooooh!” I felt his heart, it had a strong, steady beat I favored. “Yup, you ready to go to the park?” “Yeah!” So we went off to the park, when we were strolling through, a man that looked very odd to me walked up to us. I tugged on my dad’s sleeve, meaning I wanted to leave. But the strange man held a gun up to my dad, “Give me all your money.” He said. “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t bring any money with me.” My dad replied very nervously, I hid behind his leg. The crazed man wasn’t happy to hear that. I had my head buried in my dad’s jacket, but I heard a very loud gunshot then my dad picked me up curling his arms around me, and ran. I heard about 3 more gun shots and I was covered in blood, my dad’s blood. After running about 2 blocks my dad collapsed. Finally after awhile an ambulance came. Me and my father were put on too different trolleys and ambulance. The last thing I remember was screaming for my dad before going unconscious. When I awakened I was in a hospital, the nurses said I was fine, just a few scratches from my dad falling. I asked to see him but the nurses looked hesitant. Being 5 I threw a tantrum over it and they finally said yes and pushed me into his room, they looked sorry for me. I was pleased to see my dad and I put my hand over it heart, remembering out conversation from this morning but there was no beat. I was astounded. I started crying and curling in a ball. The nurses were surprised they didn’t have to explain anything. I may have only been 5 but I knew was death was.

Comment what you think,
I might add on a little about her life afterwards but probably not
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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Captin1928 on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:51 am

Thats actually, pretty good.
Not so happy but, a good story overall,
CoNtInUe!!!
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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Cαℓℓιɛ☼ on Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:38 pm

I like it .
You need to post moree (:

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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by sunnybunny. on Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:47 pm

Your an awesome writer.
I can see what's going on
in my mind when I'm reading it.
-Rep-
Make more!(:

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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Savannah(: on Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:20 pm

That's really good (:
i could picture it in my mind.
its sad Sad
But continue!
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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Eon<3 on Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:36 pm

aw... D: MOREMOREMORE!

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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by Sammeh(: on Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:54 pm

That was amazing.
I almost cried D:
You should write more :3
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Re: Heartbeat- A story I wrote. o.o

Post by LendlyLove:D on Fri Aug 27, 2010 6:20 pm

I cried... I feel so sorry for her.. D: ... I ain't never going to a park again. rofl xD

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